Hate

          From the dramatic title, you could already guess, it's to bitch about something. I'm starting to hate this world, the people, this society that we built, the rules we made, so many of them just doesn't make any fucking sense. I regret more and more as days goes on, I regret the very moment when I chose to resist ignorance, the moment that I can still remember until this day (if it's not something I made up of from my imagination, which is possible as I'm getting a little crazy), the moment I chose to listen to my teacher. I have been very religious for a long time, it's in our nature to want to believe that everything will be alright, I don't know what gave me the courage to step out of it and says "fuck everything, I'll observe in the mind of both parties and make decision".

          Maybe this long lasting pain would not be there if I chose to be ignorant, I could have been stupidly happy. I don't know what makes me who I am today, I feel so fucking lonely, there is just no one in this world that thinks like I am. The problem is not telling people what I think, the problem is telling people that what I think is right. I wants to argue, I wants to debate, but people gets angry when what they believe is 'offended'.

          I might be a little hypocritical saying this, as there are moments where I get angry when people tells me "that is not how things work". I do know that, but I just get fucking irritated, because I know that if that's how things work then there is so much more that we could have achieved. I don't have a purpose to live, the only thing fueling my life now is the responsibilities, and the only thing keeping me sane is the hatred towards this fucked up world. I don't want to think, I wish soul do exist, and I could just wake up tomorrow and be gone, leaving this empty shell to function as it should be. This way, I won't be throwing away the responsibilities, and I will finally be loose from this hell.