Pain makes you who you are?

Nothing much to update this time, just wanna type this out so I might remind myself of this in the future(?). I do realize that most of my personality came from the pain I endure, every time I go through something it feels like I've became another person. It could be just that I'm running away from the past, seeing how weak I was. Maybe it's just because that I'm so blinded that I couldn't see my weakness until I hit something hard. I wonder what I will be like in the future, after going through more and more, things are slipping away from my hand, and I'm just desperately trying to grip it. Every time I got a hold of it I forget the pain that push me that far, the problem is I only feel this super when I go through some shit, and at the same time I don't like feeling like shit. I wonder if they'll ever be a solution so that I can be both at the same time.........